Studying Hunger Journals by Bernadette Mayer

Author:Bernadette Mayer [Mayer, Bernadette]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781581771206
Publisher: Station Hill Press
Published: 2012-07-29T04:30:00+00:00

Harner or Horner: Sitting on top of the sun wasting time, they all work don’t they, don’t you, good morning doctor how are your pills, oh shit your thumb’s all black from playing doctor and the real grown-ups can’t see, we blinded them with pokers from our doctors kits for first aid, first they aided us by buying us Xmas pies, Christ, and then it got dirty, the wind blew hard and we had nightmares in store but they all turned into benevolent frogs in the end cause why? cause we had stories to tell and told them and then the sun came out and sat through the world by diving down and don’t leave out the rainbows they were like carefully done poems drawn to a close and then, beginning to alter the nursery, we arranged and rearranged all the furniture so nothing was in its proper place, seven imps sitting on one small chair upside down and then every penny was an ellipse and even that and then even though that was how we saw it we called it something else, we never went shopping.

All-black People: Black S. and I, and I’m black, commit a crime and we have to make a connection with a car and three people, two dark girls and a man. I think the car’s a white joke, a convertible. (The sun’s under a heavy dark cloud.) We make the connection on the street where I was born but not in front of the house, down on the corner in Brooklyn near the trees. I want a pie I mean I want a big cream cake, a real good one, a white one. So I give the two dark girls who have the car, they must be rich, a rich chocolate cream cake just like I wanted. Night passes. Black S. and I sleep. Morning comes. “Did you eat any of the cake?” These two hard dark girls, hard-nosed and nasty, sarcastic mean and rich give me a straight answer (Nancy Drew): “Sure did (about a quarter’s gone)—we haven’t seen a cake like that one since Marymount.” (Beth and George.) “Can I have a piece?” They slice me a slice of the chocolate cake, no denying me so I ain’t scared of being poisoned.

Paris Outdoor Movie: supposed to meet David in a café. Max is already there. But David is surrounded by so many people I can’t get near him at all. Even Max is sitting far away, far forward; David is nearly up against a wall, glass. Not only that but the David-person is combined with the Freud-god and the Burgess-Meredith-devil, as if he were someone I had seen recently, maybe on t.v. All get up to leave. This is a chance to make a connection. David announces publicly to the crowd that he will not be available till Friday. His entourage is all men, still between us. I shout-whisper, “Don’t we have an appointment at 11 tomorrow?” over the crowd of men. David cups his hands over his mouth over the crowd and shout-whispers, “Yes.

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